It’s now been 387 days since I was last on a plane. Nearly 400 days in a row within the same borders, most of those days within the walls of my own apartment.

The first time in 21 years (over half my life!) that I haven't travelled internationally. The first time in close to 15 years that I haven't traveled some significant portion of the time, mostly for work. Wanderlust led me, at least in part, to international development. Especially when I was young, energetic, and too broke to travel on my own, those work visits to far flung places were thrilling. A chance to feel connected to people and purpose.

Now that travel has moved from impossible to unsafe to justifiably avoidable, I’m amazed to find I miss it much less than I expected. It was strange to settle into, but I'm finding - much to my surprise - that I really enjoy this whole “staying put” thing.

Not to say that I'll never travel again. And of course, I do get restless. But that seems good somehow. I find I move more out of a desire to do so, and less out of the forward momentum of so. many. plans.

I wonder, though. Will our organizations be able to adopt this intentionality, carefully considering the human and financial cost of travel rather than succumbing to the inertia of “needing” to be there? (Wherever there is.)

I dunno. I mean, standing still long enough to hear myself does bring its own set of challenges. I feel wrung out recently - the kind of tiredness I would normally explain away with jet lag, or recovery from a long trip. Except I don’t have that excuse anymore.

It does seem part of a general exhaustion I sense in many friends and colleagues. 2020 was hard, 2021 got off to a manic start. And February has felt long. Even here in Cape Town, where summer is in full swing.

But slowly - slowly - I’m realizing that’s ok.

"This being human is a guest house," says Rumi. “Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.”

I haven’t had any actual house guests in a while, so I guess I’ll work on letting these visitors in rather than rushing to buy a plane ticket away from whatever they’re bringing.

p.s. for the ear worm this title may have given you, here’s the Modern English song. You’re welcome.