so, stand fast (a period of time in which we had to sit tight in village in case of civil unrest due to the 1 june presidential elections) is over, i'm out of village for the first time in weeks, and man does it feel good!

it's been a strange time, though - one of serious doubts about the peace corps' right to be here and my own misgivings about working under the auspices of a government that has kept the same man in power for 36 (and now it will be 41) years, a man who, in turn, has kept the people of his country firmly planted under his boot, mired in suffocating poverty and hopelessness, impeding togo's development with a totalitarian regime that long since caused a cessation in the flow of foreign aide.

most other governments and NGOs protested stevie's run as africa's longest-standing head of state by pulling out over a decade ago, but here we are, symbols of american might and/or ignorance, still struggling to help the people of this country in any way our fresh-out of college naïveté, idealism, and meagre training will allow. many peace corps volunteers in other countries collaborate with local NGOs or social service organizations, but since those things don't really exist here, we're left to launch development programs independently in our villages.

all of which has me wondering how effective peace corps truly is here in togo...and what my small contibution could possibly do in the long run.

these are, of course, doubts that any and all PCVs (and, probably, development workers in general) experience at some time or another during their tenures, but our recent elections have only served to highlight the already overwhelming sense of intractability and immobility i get from the situation here in togo. it just seems that togo has given up yet another chance at change...

and yet i cannot blame the terrified people in my village for voting as they did (our entire region recorded 100% support for stevie, imagine that!). although i speak nobly of political and social tides of change, i have no idea what i myself would do were i in their position - subsistence farmers who have only ever known the cult of personality surrounding this one squinty-eyed man whose education ceased in early primary school and whose level of french is laughable considering his position as the leader of a former french colony.

even more nauseating, perhaps, are the no-name elections "observers" coming from the our supposed bastion of democracy with the nerve to call this mockery free and fair. a team of senators and members of the martin luther king jr foundation came over and actually smiled into the camera while saying these words. meanwhile, i watched men stuff the ballot boxes, vote multiple times, intimidate would-be voters, and drink tchouk all day before "counting" the votes that night.

the chiefs of my area were called into the prefectural capital (like the county seat) and threatened with imprisonment (and worse) if any of their villages did not record stevie as winner. the ballots were a joke and the method of voting is to put one's fingerprint next to their choice - meaning you can be easily tracked down by the authorities if you dare to vote opposition.

after the results were announced, people in my kabyé stronghold of a village (stevie being kabyé) were given money to spend on alcohol as well as all manner of t-shirts, umbrellas, and hats with his face plastered all over them. you see, togo itself is not really a poor nation, it's a nation of poor people whose access to their own resources is cut by the imbecile at the top of it all.

and don't even get me started on the french, who have stood by and supported this regime from day 1. jacques chriac is most certainly damned for all time in the hereafter for what he has done to france's former colonies by backing their rulers.

but, okay, i shouldn't spend too much time harping on all this since it's all i have done for the past 2 weeks, mourning togo's lost chance, her willingness to roll over and let this man steamroll into his fourth decade as dictator.

in other news - MY FAMILY WAS HERE!!!! mom, dad, michael, nico - the whole lot! we had an incredible 2 week adventure through the southern half of togo and the scenic coastline of ghana, taking in accra (a real city, with real pizza, a highway, payphones, and even - wonder of wonders! - a supermarket!! (the fam all had to laugh as i gasped, "it's just like america!").

the haunting slave castles at cape coast and elmina, and an incredible rain forest preserve in which (after waiting out the rain) we swung high above the forest floor through a series of interconnecting rope bridges that allowed us to take in the ecological wonders of the rainforest's biodiverse canopy. this last was so amazing to me. after spending over a month on the floor of the rainforests of belize, it was unbelievable to catch a glimpse high above where all that wonder lives!

they loved village - had a blast touring the schools and meeting my counterparts. we were dancing to drumbeat and eating fufu about 2.5 seconds after they arrived and the next day was the fête to end all fêtes as the entire village (it seemed!) turned out to welcome them good and proper! a bevy of shouting, chanting, singing women picked us up and processed us out the the primary school, where there were speeches, incredible singing, bells, whistles, you name it. nico got more marriage proposals than i do on a normal day as each and every woman (and man, it seemed!) of any and all age brackets declared that he must stay in kaniamboua forever.

it was an incredible whirlwind tour - far too short, of course (and cut even shorter by the farce elections! the family headed out the night before election day and i was, at the last minute, forced to return to village a full 8 hours before they even got on the plane! oh stevie, my nemesis!), but ultimately amazing and so educational for us all. while they learned about africa and the life i lead here, i got an interesting perspective on the place i have carved out for myself and the way in which i treat people and situations now that i've been in togo for almost 9 months. they seemed to love it and handled everything so well - i think they should live here with me for the whole 2 years!

side note: the other day i was walking home from marche, greeting everybody and their mother (as usual) - but with a twist. "moh wookey roh. munghbiungh..theo. helim" (sorry, trying to write phonetically!) i said proudly as villagers grinned at me a little blankly. finally, i thought to myself smugly, i've started kabyé lessons - i'll be fluent in no time. wasn't till i reached my compound that i realized i'd been grinning like a fool saying "I go to house. rain. wind." yeah, some fluent kabyé speaker i am!

plus, i found the little kids excitedly dining on raw bush mouse as i got back. "look! look! see! mouse taste!" they squealed, oh so proud of their catch. “oh, wow,” is all i could think with a weak smile and a shake of my head. this is even more interesting than when they caught moths, beetles, and scorpions to eat...

in other news, the world map is done (with country names to be added this week), as is the school year! i'm having a rough time coming to terms with the fact that the kids are already out and i feel as if i've accomplished precious little, but hopefully next year will be my take-off time!